No-BS Setup And Stakes

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You're listening to Shut Up and Choose, the no bullshit, no excuses podcast for people who swear they wanna lose weight but keep choosing everything that stops them. And before we continue, if you're gonna bitch and moan and act like a fucking pussy the entire time, skip this one Hosted by Jonathan Ressler. This dude dropped 140 pounds with no shots, no diets, no pills, and not one single fucking membership swipe at the gym. Just real choices that fit real life. If you're tired of gimmicks, tired of the bullshit, and ready for somebody to finally call you out and tell you the truth, you are in the right place. Cravings, stress eating, late night sabotage, travel traps, holiday chaos, this show punches all of that right in its fat face. Stop dieting, start choosing. This is Shut Up and Choose. Now, here's Jonathan Hey, welcome back to Shut Up and Choose, the podcast that cuts through the noise, the nonsense, and all the bullshit that the internet and the TikTok twits and the Instagram gurus and all those jerk-offs online, all that crap they're telling you, it's all a bunch of shit. They're just trying to sell you stuff. Me? I'm just here to tell you

Why “On A Diet” Fails

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the truth. So look, you just told somebody that you're going on a diet. Maybe it was your partner, maybe it was your friend at work, maybe it was just yourself in the mirror in the morning. Doesn't really matter who heard it. What matters is that you said it, "I'm going on a diet." And the moment those words left your mouth, you already failed. Not metaphorically, actually. The failure is baked right in. You can't see it yet, but it's there. You're about to waste weeks, maybe months, operating under a sentence that predicts your own collapse before day one even happens. So here's what you need to understand. Words are not just sounds. They're not just communication. They're operating instructions. They're the code that your brain runs on, and when you tell yourself, or anyone else for that matter, that you're going on a diet, you've just written a very specific program into your system. That program has a built-in expiration date. You said, "On a diet." Not, "I'm someone who makes different choices." Not, "I operate this way now." Not, "This is how I eat." You said, "On." That little preposition, and I had to look up exactly what that word was, what on was. That little preposition just told your entire brain that you're temporarily located somewhere, and temporary locations have exits. You're on a diet like you're on a flight, and flights land, diets end. Your brain knows that and is already waiting for the landing. That's the part that should make you really angry because it means you've been self-sabotaging with your own vocabulary. You're not even getting to the hard part yet. You're failing the language stage. You're setting yourself up for failure through the very words you use to describe what you're about to do. And the sick part? The diet industry counts on that shit. They know exactly what they're doing. They use that language intentionally. Start your journey, get on a program, begin your transformation. Every single phrase contains the temporal marker. Every single word suggests a beginning and an ending. They're not trying to change your life. They're trying to sell you the cycle, the attempt, the failure, the shame, and then, of course, the next attempt. That's their business model, and it works because the language makes failure inevitable. You walk into this thing already negotiating your own exit strategy. You're not committing, you're just visiting. You're testing it out. You're gonna see how long you can last before you quit, because that's what on a diet means. It means you're in a temporary state. It means there's a you before the diet and a you after the diet, and the you after is the real you, the one that gets to eat normally again, whatever that means. Except there is no after. That's the lie. Weight loss doesn't have an end date if you wanna stay at that weight. The choices that got you there don't have an expiration. You don't make them for three months and then get to switch back to the behavior that made you fat in the first place. That's mathematically impossible. You can't return to the input and expect a different output. That's just not how our bodies work. It's, it's not how anything works. But you're not thinking about that when you say, "I'm going on a diet." You're thinking about three months. You're thinking about a new number on the scale. You're thinking about the finish line. You're thinking about when you get to stop, and that right there, that thought guarantees that you will stop. The brain has accepted the premise that this is temporary. It's already making a countdown. So what are you gonna do about it? Because here's the thing. Most people will listen to this and do nothing. They'll think, "Oh, interesting point about language." Then tomorrow they'll tell someone else they're going on a diet, and nothing will change. They'll still operate from the same framework and embed the failure into the system, and six weeks from now, they'll wonder why they couldn't stick with it. Hopefully, you could be different. You could actually hear what I'm saying and change the code, not just the behavior and the language, the operating system itself. That's what today is about How to take the language trap and smash it. How to use words that signal permanence instead of temporary. How to restructure the entire psychological framework so that the failure stops being the default outcome. The change starts with how you describe it, and everything else follows from that. So

The Hidden Meaning Of “On”

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let's start with something simple, the word on. That preposition, that tiny two-letter word that most people don't even think about when they say, "I'm going on a diet." But it's doing more work than you realize. Think about what on actually means in context. You're on a plane. You're on a vacation. You're on a business trip. You're on medication. In every single case, on indicates a temporary state of being, a location you're occupying that is not permanent, a condition that will ultimately end, or a phase with a beginning and an ending. Now you say, "I'm on a diet," and you just place yourself in that exact same category. You told your brain, your conscious mind, and everyone listening that this is temporary location. You're not from here. You're just visiting. And like all visits, there's a departure date. That isn't accidental phrasing. It's structural. It's embedded in the language itself. And the moment you use it, you've activated a psychological countdown that you're not even aware is happening. But here's what's really going on in your subconscious. You say, "I'm on a diet," and your brain translates that to, "I'm in a temporary state." It doesn't translate it to, "I'm making different choices." It doesn't translate to, "This is how I operate now." It translates to, "This is a phase. Like all phases, it will end." So when does it end? Your brain starts running the math before you even make your first choice. It's calculating how long you can last. It's running through scenarios where this ends. It's preparing for the exit because the language told it there is one. You haven't changed your behavior yet, and your mind is already planning your return to normal. That's not weakness. That's just how language works, and the words you choose and use set the frame. The frame determines the outcome. That is different from what most people think about motivation or willpower. This isn't about being strong enough to stick with something hard. This is about your own vocabulary predicting failure before you start. You're not battling external circumstances. You're battling the operating system you installed with your own words. So let me make this concrete with something you interact with daily. When someone tells you they're o- on antibiotics, what does that mean? It means they have an infection. They're taking medicine to kill it, and once the infection is gone, they stop taking the antibiotics. That-- The antibiotics have an end date. They're supposed to end. That's the entire point. Now take the same framework and apply it to, "I'm on a diet." You just told yourself that your weight loss is an infection, and the diet is the medicine. Once the weight is gone, you stop. The diet ends. You've placed weight loss in the same exact psychological category as a temporary medical intervention. Or, or compare it to this. You're o- "I'm on a business trip." You're traveling for work. You're staying in a hotel. You're eating different foods, sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, operating on a schedule that's not your normal, but it's temporary. There's a date that you go home. There's a return to normal. That's the framework you activated when you said, "On a diet." You're in an abnormal state. You're enduring it. You're waiting to get back to normal, whatever the fuck normal is, and your brain is literally counting the days until it can happen. The problem is that normal is what made you overweight. Normal is what you got to the fat weight you're trying to leave. So you can't go back to normal and expect to stay where you wanna be. It, it's just not possible. It's mathematically impossible. But your brain doesn't give a shit about math. It cares about language, and the language said temporary This is why you find yourself negotiating so much during a diet. "Oh,

Bargaining Creates The Crash

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I've been good all week, I deserve this," or, "Just this one time," or, "After vacation I'll get back on track." You're constantly trying to bargain because you've accepted the premise that this is temporary. So every constraint feels like it should come with a reward. Every day of restriction feels like it should earn you a day of indulgence. You're basically running a transaction system, deprivation now, permission later. That's what the language creates. If you said, "I'm someone who doesn't eat this," there's no transaction. There's no barter. It's just the fact about who you are. But with I'm on a diet, you've created a debt. You owe yourself relief. You've promised yourself an ending. The fucking diet industry knows this. They built their entire system around temporary language because it guarantees that you'll eventually quit, and then you need another diet, and then another. It's the perfect business model built on your own vocabulary predicting your own failure. But that's not the worst. It gets worse because you don't just say it to yourself, you announce it. You tell your partner, you tell your coworkers, you post online about it, you make it public. Now you've turned a private choice into a public performance. And performances have audiences, and audiences have expectations. When you tell people, "I'm going on a diet," they hear it exactly like you do, as a temporary project. They start placing mental bets on how long you'll last. They're waiting for you to fail because the language told them you will. Every single time someone asks, "How's the diet going?" They're reminding you that it's supposed to end. They're asking you to report on your temporary phase. They're, they're subtly reinforcing the idea that this has an expiration date. And you're reinforcing it too by answering in temporary language. "I'm staying strong" or "I'm being good." These words assume that you could stop being good. They assume that the phase will end. You've made a personal choice into a social event with a predicted outcome, and that prediction is baked into the language that everyone is using But here's the part that should fucking piss you off to no end. You're not just

When You Announce It Publicly

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using temporary language. You're using language that implies the old version of you is the real version. When you say, "I'm on a diet," you're saying the version of you that eats without thinking, that consumes mindlessly and makes choices without considering consequences, that's who you really are. The diet version is a visitor. The old version, that's home. So of course you're gonna return to it. You've embedded that belief into the language. You've literally defined the diet As an interruption in your real life. You haven't changed who you are. You're just temporarily behaving differently, and temporary behavior always reverts to the baseline. If you said to someone, "I'm someone who makes different choices now," you'd be claiming a new identity. You'd be saying the old version isn't coming back. But you didn't say that. You said, "I'm on a diet." And that language means you're just visiting a better version of yourself for a limited time before you go back to being you. That's the trap. That's how language predicts failure before you even start So the problem is the language, but the solution is also the language, but it has to be completely different

Swap Diet Talk For Identity

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language. Not a small tweak, a fundamental restructuring of how you describe what you're doing. It's like I call it the I am framework. Instead of, "I'm on a diet," you say, "I'm someone who makes these specific choices." That's not poetry or motivation. That's a statement of identity, and here's why it matters. Your brain wants consistency with identity. It's hardwired. If you identify as something, your brain wants your behavior to align with that identity. It's automatic. It's, it's not willpower. It's just cognitive consistency. So when you say, "I'm someone who drinks water instead of soda," you've made a claim about who you are. Your brain doesn't like cognitive dissonance. It doesn't like being someone who claims to make certain choices, then makes different choices. So it'll start steering you toward making choices that align with the identity that you've declared. You're not white-knuckling soda. You're just being consistent with how you've decided to operate. That's a completely different psychological experience. One creates friction, and one creates flow. But it can't be vague. You can't just say, "I'm gonna be healthy." God knows we've all said that. "I'm gonna make better... I'm, I'm making better choices now." That's still way too abstract. That's still temporary sentiment because it's not rooted in your actual behavior. You have to be specific. Things like I said, "I don't eat after 7:00 PM," or, "I choose water with meals," or, "I stop eating when I'm full." Those aren't aspirations. They aren't things that you're trying. Those are statements of fact about how you operate. That specificity matters because vague language leaves room for negotiation. Better choices can mean anything depending on the day. "I'm being healthy" is super subjective and super flexible. But I don't eat after 7:00 PM is binary. Either you did or you didn't. There's no gray area. There's no room for your brain to negotiate, and the absence of negotiation space is actually pretty liberating. You're not deciding every time whether to eat at 8:15. You've already decided. It's not a choice anymore. It's just how you operate. Your brain can stop arguing about it and move on to something else. Just listen to how most people talk about this stuff. "I'm trying to eat less. I'm trying to drink more water. I'm trying to make better choices." That word trying is doing work. It's signaling uncertainty. It's creating a permission structure for failure. If you're trying, you might succeed or you might fail. Trying is an effort state. It's exhausting. It's temporary by definition that you can't sustain effort indefinitely. Instead, I eat portions that align with my goals, or I drink water. I make choices that reflect how I operate. Not trying, no effort language, just statements of behavior. That shift, I know it sounds really fucking small. The impact is massive because your brain responds differently to I am versus I'm trying to. One is a fact and one is a hope. One sticks and one fades. So here's something simple that most people miss.

Get Specific And Kill “Trying”

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When you use permanent language, you change what counts as the default, the baseline, the normal. With on a diet language, your default is the old behavior. You're deviating from default through willpower. You know what I think about willpower. It's all bullshit. You're forcing yourself to be different. That's exhausting. You can do it for a while, but eventually you return to default because default is where your system wants to be. But when you say, "I'm someone who makes these choices," you've reset what the default is. Now the old behavior is the deviation. Now eating differently is the default. Now the old choices feel inconsistent, not the new ones. You're not trying to override your baseline anymore. You actually change what the baseline is, and your brain, I know this sounds crazy, but your brain will naturally gravitate toward the baseline. That's not fucking willpower. That's just how systems work So think about every moment where you're confronted with a choice. Should I eat this? Should I have another? Should I snack? Should I order takeout? With temporary language, every second is a negotiation. Every choice is a decision. Should I stay on the diet or break it? Your brain is constantly running the cost-benefit analysis, and it's exhausting. But with permanent language, the negotiation is gone. I don't eat that. Not, I'm not eating that right now. Not I'm trying not to eat that, just I don't eat that. The decision is already made. It's not a choice anymore. It's information about who I am and how I operate. You're not using willpower in every moment. You're just being consistent with a predetermined identity. Your brain can literally stop processing it and just move on. That's the actual mechanism of sustainable change. Not more willpower, but less decision-making. And here's the counterintuitive part. Permanent language is actually more flexible than temporary language. With I'm on a diet, you're binary. You're either on it or off it. You have to, you have a slip and suddenly you're off the diet. Now all bets are off. You can eat however you want because the temporary phase has ended. With I'm someone who makes these choices, you don't have that binary. You're not on or off anything. You're just being consistent with an identity. If you make a choice that's inconsistent, it, it's just that. It's An inconsistency, not a failure of the entire system, and you just adjust the next choice. You stay aligned with how you operate. One little fuckup doesn't mean the whole thing collapse. It's just information that you made a choice different from your baseline. Then you return to that baseline. No catastrophe. No, "Well, the diet is over now, so I might as..." Just back to how you operate. And when you use that permanent language, you also change how other people interact with you. If you tell someone on a diet, they treat you like someone in a temporary project. They offer you food as a test to your willpower. I know my friends always did. They ask you when you're gonna be done. They're waiting for you to fail. But if you say, "I don't eat that," or, "I just make different choices," now there's no negotiation. There's no just this once, because that's not about willpower, it's about who you are. And people respect that more than they respect temporary restriction. You're not asking for permission or seeking validation. You're just describing how you operate. That shifts the entire social dynamic. So understanding this problem is one thing. Actually changing your language, that's a whole other. And it's hard to even think because you've been using temporary language for so long that it's embedded in your automatic speech. I know it was for me. You don't even notice you're doing it anymore. It's just kinda how you talk. So the first step here is waking up to it, catching yourself mid-sentence and recognizing that you're activating the failure code with your own words. This week I want you to do something simple. Listen to how you talk about the changes you're making. Do you say I'm on a diet or do you say I'm someone who makes different choices? When you're tempted to do something, do you say, "I can't have that," or do you say, "I don't eat that"? When you talk to someone e- else about it, do you say, "I'm being good this week," or do you say, "I operate this way"? And you don't have to say, "I operate this way." Pick your own fucking words, but you know the difference. Do you use time language like, "I'm starting Monday," or, "I'm doing this for 30 days. After the holidays, I'll get back on track"? Every after is just an exit ramp. Every time-bound statement is a countdown. So listen for the prepositions. Listen for the temporalizers. Listen for the language that signals this is a project with an ending rather than a permanent restructuring. Most people will never do this audit. I know that. They never actually notice the language they're using, so they keep activating the same failure code over and over, wondering why they keep getting the same result. You're gonna be different. You're gonna have to actually hear yourself Once you start noticing, you get to redirect, and that has to happen immediately. Not later, not when you're thinking about it, right when the old language comes out. Someone asks you, "How's the diet going?" Your old response is, "It's going good. I'm staying strong." The translation there is, "It's hard. I'm barely fucking holding on, and I'm looking forward to when this shit ends." But your new response is, "I'm making different choices now." Period. No qualifier, no timeline, no mention of effort or struggle, just a statement of fact about how you operate. The old response, well, that invites commentary, and it signals weakness. It says, "I'm in a temporary hard state, and people should feel sympathy or admiration for my restraint." The new response signals inevitability. It's not something you're white-knuckling. It's just how things are. Someone offers you food that doesn't align with how you operate, "Come on," you know, "Come on, just this once. Come on, we'll go..." The old response is, "No, I'm on a diet. I can't." The translation there is, "I want to. I'm just restraining myself, but maybe next time." Your new response is, "I don't eat that." The translation there is, "That's how I operate. This is not a temptation I'm resisting. It's just not something I do." That difference is brutal. One makes you sound like you're suffering, and one makes you sound like you're just describing reality. People respond differently to each one. More importantly, you respond differently to each. One reinforces that this is hard, and one reinforces that this is just who you are. And here's what most people

Use The Framework Beyond Weight

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don't realize. This language principle doesn't just work for weight loss. It works for everything: money, relationships, career, every single domain in your life. Take money. Someone who keeps yo-yoing with spending probably says, "I'm gonna save more. I'm on a budget." Temporary language, temporary outcome. They'll hit a savings goal, feel deprived, then spend it all back and wonder why they can't build wealth. Someone who actually builds wealth says, "I'm someone who saves 20% of my income," or, "I spend on things that matter. I don't spend on things that don't." No trying, no temporary budget, just a description of how they operate. Same mechanism, different domain. Like, look at relationships. Someone in a shitty relationship pattern might say, "I'm trying to be more patient," or, "I'm working on being less defensive." That's effort language. That shit's exhausting. That's why people burn out on self-improvement. Someone who actually changes their relationship pattern says, "I don't engage in arguments that don't matter," or, "I listen before I respond." They've changed the identity, not just the effort level. They're not trying to be different. They're describing who they are. And I'm just gonna Tell you about career too. Take your career. Someone stuck in mediocrity says, "I'm trying to get better at public speaking," or, "I'm working on my leadership skills." That's trying language. That's project language. There's an end date to when they think they'll be good enough, and then they can relax. Someone who actually gets ahead, who advances, says, "I'm someone who speaks clearly and leads with confidence," or, "I develop skills as part of how I operate." Not trying, just describing the baseline. The language doesn't change between the different domains. It's always about shifting from the temporary project language and mindset to permanent identity language, and it works everywhere because the human brain responds the same way everywhere. And here's another thing that most people miss. The voice you hear in your head is running the show, and that voice uses language. That internal narrative is literally your operating system. When you're tempted, what does that voice say? "Eh, I've been good all week. I deserve this." That's temporary shit. That's transaction language. That's negotiation language. "That's not how I operate," that's permanent. That's identity. There's no negotiation in that. Or, "I'm trying so hard to stick with this." Bullshit effort language. Exhaustion, unsustainable. "This is just what I do," that's baseline language. That's automatic. Your internal monologue determines your behavior more than your conscious decisions do, 'cause you're not conscious all the time. Most of your day, you're actually running on autopilot, and autopilot runs on scripts that you've installed. The language you use repeatedly becomes the program your brain runs automatically. So if your internal monologue is, "Eh, fuck it, I'm trying," you're running on an effort-based program. Effort exhausts. It runs out. If your internal monologue is, "I am," you're running an identity-based program, and identity sustains. You have to audit that voice. Listen to it. I mean, really listen to it. Notice what it says, and start reprogramming it with different language.

Slips Vs Relapse And Recovery

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So this is where it all comes together, because eventually you'll make a choice that's inconsistent with how you've decided to operate. You're gonna fuck up. You'll eat something. You'll spend money. You'll react in a way that doesn't li- you'll fuck up. With temporary language, a slip means the whole shooting match is over. You're off the diet. You failed. Now you go back to normal because the temporary phase has ended. That's permission to fully relapse. With permanent language, a slip is just information. It's a moment where you made a choice that doesn't align with who you are now. Then what? You make a different choice next time. You're still someone who operates a certain way. You're just someone who made one shitty choice, one inconsistent choice. Not a failure of the system, just a deviation from the baseline. So correct it, continue, and move on That language determines what the slip means. With temporary language, one slip triggers full relapse. This shit is over. I fucked up. With permanent language, one slip is, well, it's just a slip. You adjust and you move forward So let me tell you what's actually happening right now. You're sitting with this framework. You understand how language predicts outcome, I hope, after all that. You understand that on a diet is failure language. You get it intellectually. You can see exactly how this applies to your life. In about six hours, you're gonna forget all about this and use the same language you've always used. You'll tell someone, "I'm trying to make changes." You'll say you're being good. You'll use temporary language without even noticing, because you've been using it for so fucking long that it's automatic. It's wired in, and it's not just how you talk, it's how you think. Knowing something is different from actually implementing it, and most people stop here. They understand the concept, feel good about understanding it, and then go back to their normal operating system with the old language still running in the background. That's the gap. That's where most people fail. So here's what's at stake. Every word you use is either moving you toward permanent change or reinforcing temporary thinking. There is no neutral. Every time you say, "I'm trying," you're installing a piece of software that says, "This is exhausting and temporary." Every time you say, "I don't do that," you're installing software that says, "This is just who I am." You're literally programming yourself with your language, and most people are programming themselves for failure without even realizing it. The weight loss industry needs you to use temporary language because temporary language guarantees you as a repeat customer. But you don't need the fucking weight loss industry. You need to actually change, and you can't actually change if you're running the failure code. This isn't about motivation or willpower or finding the right program. I promise you that. This is about rewiring the operating system, and that's a lot harder than most people want to admit. But I've given you the framework here. You understand the mechanism. You can audit your language starting today, starting in five minutes from now. You can start redirecting your internal monologue and catch yourself using temporary language, then replace it with identity language. All of that is free. All of it is yours now. But understanding and executing are different. Most people will understand this episode and feel good about it, then operate exactly the same way they always have, because fucking change is hard, man, and old patterns are comfortable.

Book, Choice Reset, And Close

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If you want to see the actual architecture of how to identify where your language is sabotaging you across every single domain of your life, your weight, of course, money, relationships, career, parenting, grab a copy of my book, Shut Up and Choose, on Amazon. It's an Amazon bestseller Because it delivers what self-help refuses to, the truth about how language shapes reality. The book walks you through the exact process I used to lose 140 pounds, but more importantly, it shows you how to audit your own language patterns and rebuild them in every area where you're stuck. But reading about it, that's a start, but it's not enough. The Choice Reset is where you stop reading about change and start building it. It takes 60 minutes, one conversation, deep honesty about the language you're using, the identity that you're accepting, and what it's actually costing you. Get on the phone. We talk for an hour. We identify where your language is holding you back, not just with weight, but with money, with relationships, career, parent, everything. We look at what you're telling yourself and why nobody's listening. We expose the narratives that you've embedded so deep that you don't even notice them anymore. Then we rebuild. We create a new framework, we install a new language, and we build a system that actually sticks because it's rooted in identity, not effort. I don't want you to be confused. This isn't coaching, and I don't give a shit if you do it or not, but it's helped a lot of people. That'll be your call. It's not coaching. It's not motivation. This is someone, this is me holding up a mirror to you and showing you exactly where your own words are fucking you over, and then showing you how to rewire it. One hour. That's the gap between understanding and execution, or that's the fast track to it. That's where real change happens. So go to my website, jonathanressler.com, book your Choice Reset, Read the book, get the framework locked in. But here's what matters. Stop waiting for the perfect time. Stop using language that predicts failure. Stop telling yourself this is temporary, or that you're trying, or that you'll start Monday, or whatever bullshit excuse you have. Every day you delay is another day you're running the old code. Every conversation where you use the old language is another installation of the failure program. You know it needs to change. You know how language works. You know that on a diet predicts off diet, which predicts back to where you started. So the only question left is whether you're actually gonna change or whether you're gonna keep doing exactly what you've always done and expect a different result. That's not a motivation problem. That's a willingness problem. It's a choice problem. It's time to stop using language that gives you permission to fail and start using language that makes failure inconsistent with who you've decided to be. The words are simple. The execution is the work. And the only thing standing between you and actually restructuring your entire operating system is your willingness to finally shut up and choose. Thanks for listening to Shut Up and Choose. If today's episode slapped you with some truth, good. That means it worked, and you've dropped the pussy attitude. Make sure to like, rate, and review, and connect with Jonathan on Instagram @jonathanresslerfatloss, on YouTube at Jonathan Ressler, and online at jonathanressler.com. No diets, no gimmicks, no excuses, no bullshit, just smarter choices starting the second you hit stop on this episode. Shut up and choose. Now, go make a better fucking choice