No Excuses Opening

Annoucer 0:01

You're listening to Shut Up and Choose. The no bullshit, no excuses podcast for people who swear they wanna lose weight, but keep choosing everything that stops them. And before we continue, if you're gonna bitch and moan and act like a fucking pussy the entire time, skip this one. I'm standing by Jonathan Ressler. This dude dropped 140 pounds with no shots, no diets, no pills, and not one single fucking membership slide at the gym. Just real choices that fit real life. If you're tired of gaming, tired of the bullshitting, and ready for somebody to finally call you out and tell you the truth, you are in the right place. This show punches all of them right in its flat face. Stop coming in, start choosing. This is shut up and choose. Now, here's Jonathan.

The Regret Of Waiting

SPEAKER_00 1:20

Shut up and choose. Twit, Instagram news, all those self-fashioned jerk.

Jonathan Ressler 1:34

None of it has anything to do with weight loss, it has to do with selling you shit. So today I'm not gonna sell you shit. I'm gonna tell you how you can lose weight and how you can change your life. So today I want to talk about regret because I have a regret. And I'm gonna talk about it because most of you probably have the same one, or you will have it, I hope. I regret not losing weight sooner. And not because I couldn't have, but because I chose not to. And every year I waited, I missed something that I can never get back. And don't cry a river for me. This isn't a sad story. It's not me looking back with shame or asking for pity. This is being honest about a cost of a choice. And I want you to listen to this closely because your regrets are being built right now, in this moment, with every decision you make to wait. Here's what separates regret from every other emotion. Regret isn't disappointment or sadness. It's what happens when you finally accept that a choice you made cost you something irreplaceable. Not money, not abstract time, but actual moments, actual experiences, and actual pieces of your life that are gone forever. Most people think regret is something you deal with at the end of your life when you're old and looking back, but honestly, that's not how it works. Regret starts building now. Every single time you choose comfort over experience, you're laying down a brick in that foundation of your regrets. And here's what makes it so expensive. You can't undo it. You can't go back and have that moment again. You can't go back and take the photo, and you can't go back to become the person you refuse to become. That moment passes and it's gone forever. The reason I'm talking about this isn't because I want you to feel bad about the past. The past is gone. What's done is done. But the future, that's not. And regrets you're building right now are completely optional. I tried. I tried many times and I bought the programs and I hired the coaches, I followed the diets, I did the work. But here's what I regret. I thought someone else could do it for me. I thought a program could fix it or a coach could save me. I really believed that there was some external solution that would change my body if I just found the right one. That regret is different. It's not a regret about attempts. I did it a million attempts. It's a regret about believing I needed permission or a system of someone else's expertise to make the choice myself. It's regret about thinking the answer was outside of me when the answer was always right inside of me. And that belief cost me decades because while I was looking for the right program or the right coach or the right answers from some idiot, my life was happening without me. The moments were passing, the opportunities were closing, the person I could have become was waiting for me to finally accept that only I could build him. That is the regret. It's not the trying, it's the outsourcing. But it's the belief that failure was because I was broken instead of because I was refusing to take responsibility. So today we're talking about regret and why it's the most expensive emotion

Regret Costs Moments You Lose

Jonathan Ressler 5:00

you can afford. So let me be specific about what regret actually costs because this matters more than you think. Regret isn't just a feeling, it's a physical manifestation of accepting that a choice you made removed options from your life that you will never get back. And the devastating part is that most people don't feel regret until it's too late to do anything about it. So there are a ton of photos that you're not in right now. Not someday, right now, today. Someone's gonna ask you to be in a picture and you're gonna say no because you don't feel good about your body. That photo is gonna happen without you. And 10 years from now, when you look at that photo, you'll notice that you're missing from it. You'll remember that moment and you remember that you had the choice to be in it and you chose not to be. That is a specific regret. That is a specific cost. But it doesn't stop there because it's not one photo, it's thousands of moments throughout your life where you choose to step back instead of step forward. It's the beach day that you decline because you didn't want to be in a swimsuit. It's the dancing at the wedding that you avoid because you feel uncomfortable in your body. It's the swimming with your kids that you skip because you don't want to be seen. The hiking trip you turn down, the adventure you pass on, the moment you sit out. And every single one of those moments are gone forever. You can't get them back. Not tomorrow, not next week, not after you lose the weight. Right now, this moment is the only one you have. And most people convince themselves this one moment doesn't matter. They tell themselves, it's it's just one photo, or I know I said that a thousand times, just one experience, or I'll do it later, I'll do it when I get thinner. But it's not just one photo. It's thousands of moments throughout your life where you choose to step back instead of step forward. And those little moments compound into a life that's so much smaller than it could have been. That's the actual cost. And that cost is real. So here's what I want you to understand: the cost of regret isn't paid in sadness, it's paid in absence, it's paid in the experiences you didn't have and the moments you didn't live, and the version of yourself that you refuse to become because you are protecting a story about your body. Most people spend their entire lives outsourcing their power. I know I did. They think that someone else can fix them. A program can save them, or a coach can change it, or scream at them, a diet can transform. So they wait, they search, they buy, they try, they fail. And then they blame the program or the coach or themselves for not being strong enough. But that's not what happened. What happened is that you believe that lie, that someone else could do the work for you. And while you were believing that lie, you were missing your own life. I spend decades looking for someone to fix me. I thought if I found the right coach, the right system, the right approach, that my body would just somehow miraculously change. And maybe it would have temporarily, but my life wouldn't have changed because the person who was broken was me and it wasn't my body. The person who was broken was me. The person who believed I needed external salvation instead of internal responsibility. And that belief cost me years, and it cost me moments. It cost me the person I could have become if I had just accepted that only I could build them. And here's the part that most people don't want to hear. You're doing the same fucking thing right now. You're waiting for the right person or program or approach to save you. And while you wait, your life is happening without you. The moments are passing, the opportunities are closing, the person you could become is dying because Q keep telling him to wait. That's what regret actually is. It's not sadness about the past, it's the acceptance that you had the power all along and you wasted it on waiting. But here's what I discovered: there's a massive difference between trying and failing and refusing to take responsibility. For years I tried. I said this already. I joined gyms, I took programs, I hired coaches, I followed diets, I did the work, and sometimes it worked. Sometimes I lost the weight. But every single time I lost the weight, I gained it back. And every single time I gained it back, I thought it was because I was weak. I thought it was because I was broken. I thought it was because I didn't have enough discipline. But that wasn't the real problem. The real problem is that I was outsourcing my power. I was taking a program that someone else created who didn't even know me, and trying to follow it as if that program knew me better than I knew myself. As if the coach understood my life better than I did, or some external system could override the daily choices that I was making. It couldn't, and it never could. The regret I carry is not about attempts. Attempts, every one of them, was honest. I was trying. The regret about the decades I spent outside of my life for an answer that was always inside of me. The regret is about believing that if I just found the right person in the right system, I would not have to take responsibility for my own choices. That regret

Stop Outsourcing Your Power

Jonathan Ressler 10:20

is devastating because it's completely self-inflicted. I had the power. I just didn't want to use it because using it would require me to be uncomfortable. It would require me to stop blaming circumstances and start blaming myself. I would have to accept that the only person standing between me and the body I wanted was me. And that acceptance, it's fucking terrifying. Because once you accept it, you can't pretend anymore. You can't blame the program or the coach, and you can't blame bad luck or bad genetics or bad timing or circumstances. You have to accept that every single day you're making the choice. And every choice is building something. For 59 years, I made choices, and those choices built a body that I fucking hated. Not because the choices were dramatic, but because they were consistent. Every day I chose comfort, every day I chose ease. Every day I chose to believe that someone else could save me instead of me saving myself. And consistency, that consistency is what I regret. Not any single choice. And then I can't think back about a choice. But it's the pattern, the refusal to take responsibility. The belief that I was broken instead of the belief that I was simply choosing wrong. I was making bad choices. And here's what changed: I finally accepted that I wasn't broken or weak, and I wasn't lacking discipline. I was just making choices that didn't serve me. And the moment I accepted that, everything shifted. Because if I was making bad choices, well, then I could make different choices. If I was the problem, then shit, I could be the solution. That acceptance cost me something. It cost me the story that I was a victim, which I'm sure you tell yourself all the time. You're a victim of so many different bullshit. But it cost me the belief that I was helpless. It cost me the comfort of blaming everything else, all these external forces for my situation. But it gave me something infinitely more valuable. It gave me my power back. And that is the regret that I want to spare you from. Not the regret of trying and failing, the regret of waiting for someone else to fix you while your life happens without you. Because here's what I know the people who try and fail are not the ones with regrets. The people who try and fail know they gave it everything. They know they showed up and they know they took responsibility. That's not regret. That's just fucking life. You're gonna do some shit that fails. But the people with regrets are the people who never tried, the people who waited for the perfect program or the perfect coach or that perfect moment. The people who believe that someone else could save them, the people who outsourced their power and then wondered why their life didn't change. Don't be that person. Take your power back right now. Accept that you're not broken. Accept the answer is not outside of you. Accept that the only person who can change your body is you. And most importantly, accept that every moment you delay is a moment that you will never get back. This is the part where most people want me to give them the secret. I know you probably think, so what's the secret? You want me to tell you that one thing will change everything. You want some kind of hack, a shortcut, a system that works even if you don't take responsibility. Well, here's the bad news that system doesn't fucking exist. And I'm not gonna lie to you and pretend it does. The fix is simple, but it's not easy. The fix is stop outsourcing your power. Stop looking for someone else to save you or waiting for the perfect program or perfect coach or the perfect moment. Start taking responsibilities for the choices you're making right now. And here's what that actually looks like. The first thing is accept every moment you delay is a moment that you lose forever. I'm not trying to be dramatic, just real. Right now, in this moment, there's something you want to do, but you're not doing it because of how you feel about your body. A photo you could be in, maybe it's a moment you could be a part of or an experience you could have, a person you connect with, something that's available to you right now that you're choosing not to do because you're uncomfortable in your own skin. That moment, it's passing, and you can't get it back. Not tomorrow, not next week, not after you lose the weight. Right now, this moment is

You Are Not Broken You Choose

Jonathan Ressler 14:50

the only one you have. Most people convince themselves this one moment doesn't matter. God knows I did, and they tell themselves it's just one photo, it's just one experience, or I'll do it later. But it's not one photo. It's thousands of moments throughout your life where you step back, and those moments compound into a life that's so much smaller than it could have been. That's the actual cost, but that's a real cost. Think about it. Really think about it. How many moments have you passed on? How many photos are you not in? For me, it's thousands. How many experiences have you declined or not even declined, but just didn't show up fully? How many times have you sat out while your life happened around you? For me, it's literally in those 59 years, thousands and thousands of times. That number is probably a lot higher than you're willing to admit. And every single one of those moments was a choice. And every choice was building your regrets. So the second thing is understand that you're not broken, you're choosing. I don't know what your circumstances are, I don't know what your situation is, but boo fucking who. That's the hardest pill to swallow because you're not broken. If you're not broken, then you can't blame it on anything external. You can't blame your metabolism or your genetics, and you can't blame bad luck or bad time or the fucking universe or whatever. You can only blame yourself. And that responsibility, it's terrifying. But it's also liberating because if you're choosing, then you can choose differently. If you're the problem, then you can be the solution. For 59 years, I believed I was broken. I believed there was something fundamentally wrong with me, prevented me from losing weight. I always said I'm incapable of losing weight. And that belief gave me permission to wait and to search for someone to fix me. Essentially to outsource my power. But I wasn't broken. I was just choosing and choosing poorly. And the moment I accepted that, my life changed because accepting that I was choosing meant accepting that I could choose differently. That's the shift. That's the moment everything changed. Not when you feel motivated or when conditions are perfect. When you finally accept that you're responsible

One Commitment That Ends Waiting

Jonathan Ressler 16:55

for your own choices. The third thing is pick one thing and commit to it today. Now, not tomorrow, not when you feel ready, not when the conditions are right, because that's never gonna happen. But do it today, right now, before the moment passes. Pick the thing that you know you should do, but you're avoiding because you're uncomfortable. Being in the photo or taking that experience or showing up, doing the thing that scares the shit out of you, and then commit to it. Not next week, not next month, right fucking now, today. That commitment, that one little commitment, is the entire fix. That's where regret stops being built because the moment you make one choice, you're no longer outsourcing your power. You're taking it back. You're accepting that you're the one who builds your life, not someone else, not a program, not a coach. You don't wait, don't plan, and don't prepare. Just commit and execute and do that today. The next thing is accept that some regret is permanent. But new regret, that's optional. You can't undo the past, you can't get back to the moments that pass you, the missed photos you weren't in, or the experience you avoided. There's no way to do that. That regret is real and it's permanent. And I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad, but I'm telling you this so you don't add to it. Every single day that you wait, you're choosing to create more regret. Every moment you sit down is a moment that you're adding to this huge pile. And every experience you avoid is adding to the list of things that you'll wish that you had done. And believe me, if you're in your 30s and 40s, I'm in my 60s now. Believe me, you think about that shit as you get older. But you can stop doing that right now. You can't change the past, but you can change what you're building in the present. You can choose to be in the photo, you can choose to take the experience, you can choose to show up, you can choose to become the person you want to be starting right now. The regret you already have, sorry, it's permanent. But the regret you're about to create is completely optional. And that's the choice you actually have control over. Not the past, not the future, right now, in this moment. So I spent 59 years outsourcing my power. I spent 59 years looking for someone else to fix me while my life happened without me. And I can't get those years back. But you can learn from them. You can see the pattern and choose differently. I know I did. The regrets I carry, they're not about the attempts and the failures. They're about the waiting. They're about the belief that someone else or some program could save me. They're about the moments that I missed because I was uncomfortable in my own skin. They're about the person I refuse to become because I was protecting a story about my body. I can't lose weight. That's a bullshit story. And I want to be clear about something. I don't carry those regrets with shame. I carry them with clarity because clarity is what changes everything. Clarity is what wakes you up to the fact that you're building regrets right now, in this moment, with every decision you make to wait. A lot of people are going to hear this and feel bad. They'll feel sad about the moments you missed. You might feel disappointed in yourself, and then you'll do nothing. Because feeling bad is not the same as changing. Sadness is not the same as action. But you can be different. You can hear this and choose to stop building regrets starting right now. You can accept that you're not broken. You can accept that the answer is not outside of you. You can accept that the only person who can change your life is you. And you can accept

Book And Choice Reset Invitation

Jonathan Ressler 20:30

that every single moment you delay is a moment that you lose forever. If you want the framework for how to actually make that choice and execute it, head over to Amazon and grab my book, shut up and choose. It's an Amazon bestseller that's helped tens of thousands of people stop waiting and start living. The book breaks down exactly how I lost 140 pounds and more importantly, how to stop letting your body be the excuse for missing your own life. But here's what actually changes things. I I do this thing called the 60-minute choice reset. This is where we get real about what you're choosing and what it's costing. We identify the specific regrets that are driving you and the choices that are creating new ones. Then we build a system that works so you can stop adding to the pile. One hour. That's it. One hour. Deep honesty. A framework that holds up when the pressure shows up. So you can head over to my website, jonathanwrestle.com, and book your choice reset if you want. Get the book, get the system. Then stop waiting for the perfect moment to start living your actual life. Don't wait until you have more regrets. Don't wait until you're older, like me, and sadder about the moments you missed. Don't wait for the conditions to be perfect. They're never fucking perfect. The moments you're avoiding right now are available to you. The experiences you're declining are happening right now. The person you can become is waiting for you to finally accept that only you can build them. Everything you're avoiding is available to you right now if you have the guts to finally shut up and choose.

Annoucer 22:06

Thanks for listening to Shut Up and Choose. If today's episode slapped you with some truth, good. That means it worked, and you've dropped the pussy attitude. Make sure to like, rate, and review, and connect with Jonathan on Instagram at JonathanWrestlerFatlos, on YouTube at Jonathan Wrestler, and online at JonathanWrestler.com. No gimmicks, no gimmicks, no excuses, no bullshit. Just smarter choices, starting the second you hit stop on this episode. Shut up and choose. Now go make a better fucking choice.